The Echoes of Familiar Voices

Have you ever just sat and listened, in the moment without contributing your own thoughts or spoken words for that matter. Is it eavesdropping? I don't know, I guess that all depends on the moment and the information, and the motivation behind listening in. Right now, I am listening to the banter of communication between the three boys in my family. The dad voice that is ever explaining and guiding, creatively defining in different terms so that there is mutual understanding. The ever present questioning of "why things are the way they are and how we know the things we know." I think the most difficult things to put into words are those things we're not really sure of the history or origin of understanding, just more of the "I know that I know because I know" kind of explanations. You know in your knower. Yet that isn't really clear, more vague and subjective, not linear and fact based.
That's how it seems to be even more as I learn to live as God as my guide. I know what I've experienced, I know what I know about God based on my relationship with Him. I know God through others telling me of their experiences and it resonating with a resounding, "I know what your talking about" from deep within. Then I guess there are more tangibles yet still subjective, the feelings of peace, love, calm, love, forgiveness, self-control, patience. It's more apparent when I experience these things when everything from my past experience has felt and acted otherwise, when typically it isn't my habit to feel the aforementioned feelings in a given type of circumstance, yet it comes in like God has pushed the override button, and shown me His ability from within me to respond differently. It's amazing when it happens,, makes you want to shake your head back and forth and smile. God is faithful to transform us from the inside out. It's a good day when there is a little bit more of God shining through with His love and compassion, His justice and mercy, than my way of living in the moment even with my best intentions.
So i am taking time to listen, for the familiar voice of My Father in Heaven to guide me into truth and be led with His intention and heart in our difficult world. So take the time to listen, to eavesdrop on God.

Family Hikes

Thankful for My Family

It is times like to tonight and actually every night that Jason is out of town or not home when the boys go to bed that I am thankful that he will be back again to tuck them in and spend more time with him. Cole seems to be the most affected when his daddy isn't there when he goes to sleep. He begins to cry, he genuinely misses his daddy. I remember not too long ago that I wondered in the back of my mind when one of these moments would happen, "What would I do to comfort my little boys if their daddy wasn't coming back to raise them and watch them grow." A little over two years ago now, Jason underwent open hear surgery, and the thought in the back of everyone's mind at the time was, "Will he wake up again to watch his boys grow up, grow old and ornery with his wife, and continue to be the fantastic son, brother, uncle, and friend that he is to so many." I am reminded at night when I can hear his heart valve clicking that it truly is an extended gift from God for him to be alive, living, breathing, and sharing his life with us. One of my greatest fears at that time was that I would be a young widow with two young babies 3 years and younger. I wrestled with God over this issue for months prior to his surgery. The memories of certain moments during the time leading up to surgery, the look on his face when we left him in the pre-op room, and watching his body being taken into the intensive care unit. Some I would never want to re-live and re-feel. The one thing I will never tire of feeling was the tangible presence of God, a loving God wrapping me with intense peace that was truly a feeling that surpassed all understanding. I thank God daily for my family, my husband, my kids, and our life which is truly blessed. It is difficult to live in the present moment with the truly important things kept in perspective at all times. I thank my God for giving me His Peace and His Love to understand the true purposes of the present moment. Here's to living with an eternal perspective of the present moments. I am glad that Cole and Spencer have a relationship with their earthly daddy as well as their heavenly father.

Listening to the Unspoken Words

They say that over 75% of communication is nonverbal, which means body language, gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, and often just the unspoken words.
I have been trying to Be Slow to Speak, Listen More Closely, and Open my ears to try to understand the unspoken. It is really difficult, speculating, guessing, wondering what would be said if for some reason it could.
Listening without trying to come up with my two sense to add to the conversation is something I am trying to make a conscious effort to do. What are the unspoken words that others are often communicating without the spoken words. If I don't learn to wait, watch, and listen to my inner Holy Spirit, I often don't have a clue. I am learning to ask God to reveal to me how to listen with a compassionate heart, to look beyond what is directly in front of me, and uncover the mystery of the unspoken words.
I encourage you all to ask God, How can I be more aware of the treasure being communicated in between the spoken words.

Some of our favorite things

Well more stories from the boys. Sometimes I feel like I am a mobile personal Children's Thesarus. I am always trying to find other words for words I use while talking with Cole. I was trying to explain what and how the grooves in the pavement on our roads in Central Oregon were caused from. So what's a groove, umm an indentation, places where the pavement wears out in the shape of tires, uuh, you know like inverted speed bumps :). I don't know a hollow, shallow area of the road that causes tires going at fast speeds to get pulled around.
All I can say is, my brain synapses are not as creative as they used to be. Maybe when I'm back to work my creativity will once again flourish.
So on we go for more favorite things. Spencer decided that he was going back to school today. I asked him what his favorite part of school was, which was eagerly answered with a matter of fact, "Eating". Is there anything else you like about school? "I like listening to stories." So Eating and Listening to Stories are favorites this week, actually, if you knew Spencer, those are favorite past times most days, school in or out.

So here's to Eating and Listening to Stories. Any good ideas on other words for the grooves in the pavement are welcomed.

Summer Time Photos

First Day of School, Loose Teeth, and Maybe I'll go back Thursday

Well,
we survived. The first day of school. Both boys actually went right into their classrooms, followed the routine, and didn't even kiss their mom goodbye. Cole wanted me to get him settled first but I quickly told him that I would take Spencer to class first and then come across the hall to help him. Well Spence hung up his backpack and sweatshirt and was headed toward the trucks to play without even looking back. So on my way across the hall only to see Cole, closing his locker and heading through the classroom door without even knowing I was behind him. He was greeted with enthusiasm by his teacher, flipped his card to show he was there and proceeded to sit at his table spot. I tried waving to let him know I saw him and he was too absorbed to even notice. So back to the preschool class. I couldn't even spot my little own amongst the sea of three footers. His teacher pointed out that he was visiting "Speedy" the classroom turtle. I walked over, said hello, tried to take a picture or too, but Speedy was about to get breakfast so that was too exciting to miss let alone take the time to say goodbye to mom. So I walked out the door. I wasn't quite sure what to feel, a little indifferent I guess....Three whole hours to myself!!!!
Freedom sure does fly by when you're all alone. Off to pick up where the boys were placed back into the car. Spencer was told, "See you Thursday, you're coming back right?" Spencer just shrugged his shoulders, gave his little grin, and said, "Maybe" which was then followed by giggling and a tummy tickle by his teacher.
Now it is the afternoon, Cole comes running into the room. "LOOSE TOOTH" he cries with excitement. "Which one, let me feel." The middle one on the bottom, which one, oh, you have two loose teeth on the bottom. Maybe by Halloween, we'll have a real Jack O' Lantern smile.