Thankful for My Family

It is times like to tonight and actually every night that Jason is out of town or not home when the boys go to bed that I am thankful that he will be back again to tuck them in and spend more time with him. Cole seems to be the most affected when his daddy isn't there when he goes to sleep. He begins to cry, he genuinely misses his daddy. I remember not too long ago that I wondered in the back of my mind when one of these moments would happen, "What would I do to comfort my little boys if their daddy wasn't coming back to raise them and watch them grow." A little over two years ago now, Jason underwent open hear surgery, and the thought in the back of everyone's mind at the time was, "Will he wake up again to watch his boys grow up, grow old and ornery with his wife, and continue to be the fantastic son, brother, uncle, and friend that he is to so many." I am reminded at night when I can hear his heart valve clicking that it truly is an extended gift from God for him to be alive, living, breathing, and sharing his life with us. One of my greatest fears at that time was that I would be a young widow with two young babies 3 years and younger. I wrestled with God over this issue for months prior to his surgery. The memories of certain moments during the time leading up to surgery, the look on his face when we left him in the pre-op room, and watching his body being taken into the intensive care unit. Some I would never want to re-live and re-feel. The one thing I will never tire of feeling was the tangible presence of God, a loving God wrapping me with intense peace that was truly a feeling that surpassed all understanding. I thank God daily for my family, my husband, my kids, and our life which is truly blessed. It is difficult to live in the present moment with the truly important things kept in perspective at all times. I thank my God for giving me His Peace and His Love to understand the true purposes of the present moment. Here's to living with an eternal perspective of the present moments. I am glad that Cole and Spencer have a relationship with their earthly daddy as well as their heavenly father.