Montoya Family- Bend, Oregon

Process

2009-02-22T18:47:00.000-08:00

Well, Now it is February and I look back at what I wrote about beginning a New Year. I think about the process that is taking place in my life as I continue to pursue peace, joy, the abiding presence, listening, a new level of freedom, a new dimension of truth defined.
I am not looking at progress, rather the process. I am trying to be more mindful of the present moment, what it presents and represents. I am aware of moments of complete brilliance as my children live, relate, learn, grow. The brilliance that only children can illuminate with their sense of wonder and awe. The complete reckless abandon of living in the moment of now. The utmost joy to the devastation of disappointment, and learning how to recover and join once again into the heartbeat of life as it continues on.
If the only question I am asked at the end of my life can be answered with an assured and strong "yes", I will have lived my life with no regrets. The question I strive to fulfill is "Have you learned to love?" It's the process of learning to love, learning to accept love, learning to allow the healing necessary to the areas that inhibit loves flowing freely, between heart, mind, soul, and spirit. The "Process" continues, the journey fulfilling if only we stop to learn about the moment of now.

January 1, 2009-Happy New Year

2009-01-01T10:35:00.000-08:00

Well, how do you start a new year? There certainly is a lot going on in the lives of people around us, some triumphs, some struggles, some have resorted to resentment, some have let go of the outcomes, some have grown weary, some welcome the New Year with a shout, some with a sigh of relief. Whatever it is for you or I, the New Year still comes and goes, as time does. It never stops, it just keeps creeping forward, whether we are ready for it or not.

So here are some of the resolutions for 2009 for myself.
1. Speak less, listen more, make sure the words I am speaking will build life, not tear it down.
2. Be Aware of God, more often, not perfection, just progress, this is everchanging in my life.
3. Discover True Peace and Joy which can only come from spending more time with the creator of both
4. Trust God more than I trust anything else, including myself and just doing things my own way.

Now how I will do this, I don't know exactly yet all of the variables. Yet spending time with God on an ongoing intentional basis will be a good start. Learning to keep my mouth shut and living the proverbial saying, "I you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Also, Learning to listen without my agenda waiting to announce my thoughts on a situation. Listening for the sake of listening.

Thankfulness

2008-11-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

I am Thankful for many different reasons this year. The one that comes to mind that bores a hole so close to my heart is for health. Health of my family. I know a grandma who just yesterday was in Portland with her 3 year old granddaughter getting a bone marrow transplant along with some stem cells. They found out she was sick towards the beginning of fall. My heart breaks for this family and this little person. It so easily could be any one of us going through what anyone else is going through. So pray for Annie when you are thankful for health this week. Also pray for Cathy, she is my nephews mom and she has stage four Melanoma. My nephew is 18, his younger brother 10. This may be the last thanksgiving with their mom.
Be thankful for Family. No matter what the differences, no matter what words have been spoken that have been hurtful, be thankful you have family.
Life is too short to live with hurt, bitterness, and regrets in our life.
Be thankful this Thanksgiving and beyond.

Shifting

2008-11-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find it difficult to get the words out, to explain how you feel on the inside, how you are experiencing the world on the outside, and yet are finding the words not adequate to bring understanding?

I have been at a loss for words to describe the internal shifting that is occurring in my life. I am learning to be silent longer, speak less quickly, and try to understand the unspoken. Sometimes its hard.

So I try to keep the main things the main things, perspective outside of my own little world and bring in the larger picture, to better understand me, my experiences, and the choices I make.

Isn't there really more to this life than living and dying? Does everyone have an internal pressing drive to make a difference in a world that seems to get worse and worse everyday.

There are over 143 million orphans in the world. That bothers me on a lot of different levels. Each of those 143 million, are a person, a life, some of them forgotten, left to navigate the world on their own. Others may be brought into orphanages.

I joined some people who want to make a difference. Amani Life Project. Extend your heart, your passion to make this life something worth living for to someone who may not feel they have much to live for. This is something we all have in common, Knowing Hurt and having Dreams.

The Echoes of Familiar Voices

2008-09-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just sat and listened, in the moment without contributing your own thoughts or spoken words for that matter. Is it eavesdropping? I don't know, I guess that all depends on the moment and the information, and the motivation behind listening in. Right now, I am listening to the banter of communication between the three boys in my family. The dad voice that is ever explaining and guiding, creatively defining in different terms so that there is mutual understanding. The ever present questioning of "why things are the way they are and how we know the things we know." I think the most difficult things to put into words are those things we're not really sure of the history or origin of understanding, just more of the "I know that I know because I know" kind of explanations. You know in your knower. Yet that isn't really clear, more vague and subjective, not linear and fact based.
That's how it seems to be even more as I learn to live as God as my guide. I know what I've experienced, I know what I know about God based on my relationship with Him. I know God through others telling me of their experiences and it resonating with a resounding, "I know what your talking about" from deep within. Then I guess there are more tangibles yet still subjective, the feelings of peace, love, calm, love, forgiveness, self-control, patience. It's more apparent when I experience these things when everything from my past experience has felt and acted otherwise, when typically it isn't my habit to feel the aforementioned feelings in a given type of circumstance, yet it comes in like God has pushed the override button, and shown me His ability from within me to respond differently. It's amazing when it happens,, makes you want to shake your head back and forth and smile. God is faithful to transform us from the inside out. It's a good day when there is a little bit more of God shining through with His love and compassion, His justice and mercy, than my way of living in the moment even with my best intentions.
So i am taking time to listen, for the familiar voice of My Father in Heaven to guide me into truth and be led with His intention and heart in our difficult world. So take the time to listen, to eavesdrop on God.

Family Hikes

2008-09-19T20:49:00.001-07:00

Thankful for My Family

2008-09-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

It is times like to tonight and actually every night that Jason is out of town or not home when the boys go to bed that I am thankful that he will be back again to tuck them in and spend more time with him. Cole seems to be the most affected when his daddy isn't there when he goes to sleep. He begins to cry, he genuinely misses his daddy. I remember not too long ago that I wondered in the back of my mind when one of these moments would happen, "What would I do to comfort my little boys if their daddy wasn't coming back to raise them and watch them grow." A little over two years ago now, Jason underwent open hear surgery, and the thought in the back of everyone's mind at the time was, "Will he wake up again to watch his boys grow up, grow old and ornery with his wife, and continue to be the fantastic son, brother, uncle, and friend that he is to so many." I am reminded at night when I can hear his heart valve clicking that it truly is an extended gift from God for him to be alive, living, breathing, and sharing his life with us. One of my greatest fears at that time was that I would be a young widow with two young babies 3 years and younger. I wrestled with God over this issue for months prior to his surgery. The memories of certain moments during the time leading up to surgery, the look on his face when we left him in the pre-op room, and watching his body being taken into the intensive care unit. Some I would never want to re-live and re-feel. The one thing I will never tire of feeling was the tangible presence of God, a loving God wrapping me with intense peace that was truly a feeling that surpassed all understanding. I thank God daily for my family, my husband, my kids, and our life which is truly blessed. It is difficult to live in the present moment with the truly important things kept in perspective at all times. I thank my God for giving me His Peace and His Love to understand the true purposes of the present moment. Here's to living with an eternal perspective of the present moments. I am glad that Cole and Spencer have a relationship with their earthly daddy as well as their heavenly father.

Listening to the Unspoken Words

2008-09-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

They say that over 75% of communication is nonverbal, which means body language, gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, and often just the unspoken words.
I have been trying to Be Slow to Speak, Listen More Closely, and Open my ears to try to understand the unspoken. It is really difficult, speculating, guessing, wondering what would be said if for some reason it could.
Listening without trying to come up with my two sense to add to the conversation is something I am trying to make a conscious effort to do. What are the unspoken words that others are often communicating without the spoken words. If I don't learn to wait, watch, and listen to my inner Holy Spirit, I often don't have a clue. I am learning to ask God to reveal to me how to listen with a compassionate heart, to look beyond what is directly in front of me, and uncover the mystery of the unspoken words.
I encourage you all to ask God, How can I be more aware of the treasure being communicated in between the spoken words.

Some of our favorite things

2008-09-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well more stories from the boys. Sometimes I feel like I am a mobile personal Children's Thesarus. I am always trying to find other words for words I use while talking with Cole. I was trying to explain what and how the grooves in the pavement on our roads in Central Oregon were caused from. So what's a groove, umm an indentation, places where the pavement wears out in the shape of tires, uuh, you know like inverted speed bumps :). I don't know a hollow, shallow area of the road that causes tires going at fast speeds to get pulled around.
All I can say is, my brain synapses are not as creative as they used to be. Maybe when I'm back to work my creativity will once again flourish.
So on we go for more favorite things. Spencer decided that he was going back to school today. I asked him what his favorite part of school was, which was eagerly answered with a matter of fact, "Eating". Is there anything else you like about school? "I like listening to stories." So Eating and Listening to Stories are favorites this week, actually, if you knew Spencer, those are favorite past times most days, school in or out.

So here's to Eating and Listening to Stories. Any good ideas on other words for the grooves in the pavement are welcomed.

Summer Time Photos

2008-09-02T17:01:00.001-07:00

First Day of School, Loose Teeth, and Maybe I'll go back Thursday

2008-09-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well,
we survived. The first day of school. Both boys actually went right into their classrooms, followed the routine, and didn't even kiss their mom goodbye. Cole wanted me to get him settled first but I quickly told him that I would take Spencer to class first and then come across the hall to help him. Well Spence hung up his backpack and sweatshirt and was headed toward the trucks to play without even looking back. So on my way across the hall only to see Cole, closing his locker and heading through the classroom door without even knowing I was behind him. He was greeted with enthusiasm by his teacher, flipped his card to show he was there and proceeded to sit at his table spot. I tried waving to let him know I saw him and he was too absorbed to even notice. So back to the preschool class. I couldn't even spot my little own amongst the sea of three footers. His teacher pointed out that he was visiting "Speedy" the classroom turtle. I walked over, said hello, tried to take a picture or too, but Speedy was about to get breakfast so that was too exciting to miss let alone take the time to say goodbye to mom. So I walked out the door. I wasn't quite sure what to feel, a little indifferent I guess....Three whole hours to myself!!!!
Freedom sure does fly by when you're all alone. Off to pick up where the boys were placed back into the car. Spencer was told, "See you Thursday, you're coming back right?" Spencer just shrugged his shoulders, gave his little grin, and said, "Maybe" which was then followed by giggling and a tummy tickle by his teacher.
Now it is the afternoon, Cole comes running into the room. "LOOSE TOOTH" he cries with excitement. "Which one, let me feel." The middle one on the bottom, which one, oh, you have two loose teeth on the bottom. Maybe by Halloween, we'll have a real Jack O' Lantern smile.

Summer Time Closure

2008-08-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

So as life goes, another season is coming to an end and another beginning is then just around the corner.
With the end of August comes my friend Tracy's birthday on the 30th. She used to brag for 30 days that she was 2 years older than myself when we were younger. Since we met when I was 19 and she was 20, two years older seemed like it should mean something important. Now however, I don't hear those tauntings for an entire month. So now I guess I can begin with the phrases about being almost 2 years younger than she is. She will reach 40 before I will. I will stay 35 for one more month. Why do we keep so close track of time and timing of things?
Cole on the other hand was asking if Spencer was 3 1/2 yet. No, Spencer just turned on July 30th. Cole on the other hand is almost 5 1/2, which in little people timing is very important.
So Cole is off to kindergarten and Spencer to preschool. School clothes are bought. Backpacks are ready.
Time. Time is defined in a lot of different ways but usually with I'm out of time, There is no time.
So I am trying to create time spaces to hold onto some of those precious moments with my husband, my boys, my family, my friends.
The weather is changing, the days and evenings are cooler. We are anticipating the changing of the colors of the leaves of the trees and the Saturday football games that we will gather around the tv to watch or trek over the mountain to watch at Autzen.
Fall is my favorite month. It is Cole's too. For different reasons. Mine is for memories from childhood of jumping in piles of huge oak leaves when I was 3. Waiting for the bus on cool crisp mornings. Spending time with my family on Sunday afternoons.
Cole is building his own favorite memories. Right now the Oregon Ducks and Autzen Stadium are favorite and important fall things.
So onward we go. And as Cole would say, "Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall." That's what he thinks God says to the seasons when it's the next seasons turn.

Do You Recognize God through only a Few People?

2008-08-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

I was told I needed to write again. So I was reading an article on "Is Your Christ Too Small?" It challenged me in a new way. A realization that I often have a limited view of God based on the aspect of humanity that I choose to see in people rather than the God that is being revealed to me through them. What is God trying to teach me about Him through those that come within my path in life. Often times I focus on the aspects of their human character, or the rough edges, that are still in the process of refinement and attempt in my own strength to not be offended, show great patience, or grit my teeth under my closed lips so that I do not say something that I will regret. Throughout this struggle, my eyes become clouded to that which God is trying to reveal to me about His character and instead become ultra-focused on that which has not been perfected. Which ironically illuminates those areas that are not yet refined in my own character.

If we are being transformed into the likeness Jesus then there are a few things we must keep in mind. One is to know Jesus as he walked and interacted as a human. The other is to know him through the leading and transforming process that is a result of yielding to His Spirit within. How do we do that? I do know that this will be an ever changing process for most. One way will be suffice for a while and just when we become comfortable with a static way of knowing God, He will change the way. One constant way is through the word and through taking the time to seek Him through some method of communication. Still your heart and seek God. Meditate on a promise of who God is or who God says we are and see what is revealed. Most people make this too hard, too formulaic. Most children I know have an easier time talking with God, experiencing Him tangibly. For one of my children, I believe his faith continues to grow because he doesn't expect God not to show up. He doesn't expect God to speak to him.
So as a reminder, expect God to show up if you truly seek Him and want truth in your life. Pray that God will reveal Himself in all those orchestrated on our path of life. Don't focus on the human flawed characteristics that will undoubtedly be found if we focus on them. Focus on recognizing God in everyone you come alongside throughout your days.

Chillie

2008-04-14T21:24:00.001-07:00

Chillie
Originally uploaded by montoyabre

Chillie is supervising the action. Spencer chasing OC (the cat), trying to pick her up. All Chillie wants to do is return to his nap.

Conformed or Transformed, You Choose

2008-04-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am trying to still get back into the swing of things after two nights and most of two days away from my boys, all of them, and going away to a retreat with other women. What a timely experience.
What an amazing God we love and follow. I was witness to many women who had been conformed into the pattern of this world and everything that has left it's mark on them throughout their life, and leave with healing and restoration from the hurt and betrayal this world leaves upon us over time.
One of the things we learned was the difference between Conform and Transform.
Conform is actually defined as "change in form", fashioned, formed after a pattern. The word picture is one of how they make coins. The metal is pressed with an image, from a mold. The substance or material is changed from one form to another. Same substance. This would be an external change.
Transform actually means to be changed into something entirely different. A change in the essence of something and that which we cannot do it ourselves. Something "supernatural" needs to take place. The word Transform has its' roots in Metamorphoo, which in our English language leads to Metamorphosis.
When I think of Metamorphosis, I picture the process of the Caterpillar which goes into the cocoon and is transformed into a Butterfly. Something entirely different.
Romans 12:2 says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed through the renewing of your mind so that you prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
Only God can renew our minds into His character and image. We have to stop believing the lies that the world tries to sell us all. They are empty, unfulfilling, and fruitless. We strive and strive and even if we lack for nothing in our relationships and possessions, there will still be a sense of "there must be something more".
I challenge you to be transformed if you are discontent with this life. Allow God to transform your mind based on the truth of who He is and Who you are to Him. A relational God, He knows your name, He knows all that you have experienced and will experience in your life. It's up to us to take the step and choose to believe and then learn how He desires to relate to us in a very personal and intentional way. He won't force you to believe in Him. He loves you just the same but will not intervene in your life without your direct permission. I was reminded recently that "a touch from God doesn't cause harm to us". He is a Good God, a God of Justice and Truth, a God of Love.

Superman Capes, My Horse, and Cops

2008-04-10T14:22:00.001-07:00

I must put in an update on the boys. We are in the full swing of life with two lively little rugrats, continually charming their ways into our hearts and out of trouble, and bringing a new meaning to "experiencing life to the fullest".
So as some of you many know we are very much into "Public Safety" in our home. We love fireman, policeman, state patrol, Army soldiers, and of course our Protector Angels.
We have police uniforms, fireman outfits, handcuffs, whistles, night sticks, flashlights, foam swords, superman capes, and guns made out of everything from fingers to toothbrushes. Little boys amaze me with the innate nature of the adventure they play out everyday. Spencer is our riskier, test the limits kind of kid. Cole is more of the cautious risk taker.
We have been playing cops in our home for months. Recently Cole showed me the new type of "cops" they were playing. Cole says, "Mom watch this." and proceeds to yell at the top of his lungs, "Spencer Run!!" Which Spencer, barefeet, pullup clad with socks and crocs, a "Go Ducks" shirt and hair sticking up on one side from nap, takes off like there's no tomorrow. All of a sudden, Cole yells, "GET DOWN ON THE GROUND, PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!!" I watched, kind of perplexed and stunned at the same time, as Cole crashed into the side of Spencer, Spencer immediately dropped to the ground, put his hands behind his back and then Cole proceeded to put his knee in his back and handcuff him". Off to Jail they went, which was under the kitchen table, and then Spencer proceeded to escape. Then it was round 2 and 3 and 4 and 5. I was wondering, where did they get this from. I felt compelled to do my good mom job and inform Cole that cops did not chase the "bad guys", knock them down so roughly. He quickly turned to me and said, "They do on Cops mom." You know "Bad Boys Bad Boys whatcha Gonna Do, Whatcha Gonna Do When they Come for You."
Unbeknownst to me, on Tuesday nights when I have Bible Study, the boys are watching cops with daddy. I just shook my head and thought, of course, all of the people are fleeing from the police on cops, that's why it's on TV. So the song has continued, in some interesting settings, and I keep thinking "Whatcha Gonna Do?" So when Spencer started singing the theme song during church prayer time, I guess he was praying for the "Bad Boys". Kinda humorous, but a good lesson in what might not be appropriate for a 2 1/2 and 5 year old.
Spencer calls Chillie, our Golden Retriever, His Horse. He grabs poor Chillie under the collar and hauls him around the house, saying "My horse, My horse, Ride my horse." I think Chillie knows to avoid any of the furniture that Spencer could use to help him actually get on him to ride him. Oh well, the joys of childhood make believe and the things our pets endure. Although, I do think Chillie and Spencer have an agreement. It's the "I'll let you think I'm your horse as long as you continue to feed me when mom and dad aren't looking."
So off off and away, the capes are flying around our home as well. Cole looked out the window the other day and make the remark, "I need to get my cape mom, it's windy outside and I can't wait to feel like I'm really flying."
What would it be like if I showed up to work with the supermom cape on, it's kind of windy outside right now, it might be fun to fun and feel like I'm flying. When is it that we lose our ability to do things like that, without the fear of what others think about us. Hmmm, somedays, I would like to be that free again.
So I'm off off and away, to be Supermom for another day.

Cautiously Optimistic, Excited Anticipation

2008-04-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well, let's see, the weather today, sunny, partly cloudy, mostly clear blue skies and getting warmer by the minute. Tuesday, we woke up to 1 1/2 inches of snow, with snow falling throughout the day. Winter has been long this season. Yet this weekend it is "supposed to" be in the low 70's. Of course everyone is cautiously optimistic, hopeful for the accuracy of the weather forecast, yet not completely ecstatic, not wanting to be yet again disappointed with the uncertainty of the "micro-climate" of the Central Oregon Cascades. So when Saturday arrives, the sun is shining, and the warmth of the day increases as the briskness of the morning wanes, the people will again come out in multitudes to enjoy the warmth that the sun and warm temperatures bring. People will peel off the layers of down clothing, long pants, wool socks, and flannel pajamas. Out will come the shorts, flip flops, bikes with bike trailers, frisbees, and lawn furniture. Ok, I may be getting a little ahead of myself. What I am looking forward to is hearing the sounds of the neighborhoods coming awake again after the winter hibernation. The sounds of kids laughter, people doing yardwork, skateboards and skooters rolling down the sidewalks, and eventually the familiar songs from the ice cream truck making its rounds through the streets.
Of course, it could snow again before the long term warm weather hits, but we like to think that we are over the hump and on our way to the months of leaves on the trees, green grass, and the beauty of the place we live. I think we may have snow that stays on the mountains this year throughout the heat of the summer. The river will be full, the mosquitoes will have not survived (cautiously optimistic), and Cultus Lake will be colder than usual.
Cole can't wait for summer and then football season. First game of the season is Huskies vs. Ducks at Autzen. I don't blame him for being excited for the warm weather and how each season leads into the next.
It's a lot like the seasons of our lives personally. Sometimes we feel like we've had a cold hard winter, heavy layers of snow that just keep stacking upon each other, and the desire to hibernate until the warmth of spring draws us out once again. We just have to notice the signs and respond to come out and take a look at what the new season has brought. So what are the signs we need to notice that there has been a definite change from one season to the next. It will always be gradual, small incremental changes, some obvious, others occur at the preparation of the soil stage. Which when you think about it, occurs throughout the different seasons, a layering of preparation, the necessary stages and portions of decay and growth. What are the areas in our lives, unseen to the visible eye that are necessary for the next season? Something to think about.
I'm sure I will continue to ruminate on these things as I go on a retreat this weekend. Some time away from the boys, some time of laughter, tears, and learning, some time to be alone and still with God, and some time of joining in with other women needing some transformation and renewal for the next season. I am anticipating receiving what it is that God knows I need for "now", the things needing pruning, the decay that needs it's nutrients tilled into the new ground, the seeds sprouting new growth that had been planted in seasons past. They were waiting for the timing of all the variables to come together for this moment in this season of my life. Unexplainable with words at times. I am experiencing the Joy of what God has created me for in this life.

Spring Time in Central Oregon?

2008-03-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

You never know what type of weather Central Oregon will bring since we do live in a "microclimate" area. Whatever that means. So I am trying to update more often to let everyone know what's going on with our family....

Cole just turned 5 which I can hardly believe. I know everyone has always told me that time goes by quickly and to cherish the time you have because before you know it they will be gone on their own. Cole reminded me the other day that he wouldn't be living with me forever but he would definitely visit.

Spencer is just constantly on the go. He usually has a big smile on his face and running through the house. We are looking forward to spring time weather so they both can ride their bikes and spend time outside more often.

Jason will be finished working on the mountain in April and will be home with the boys, working occasionally until raft season gets gearing up again. I will be off for the summer in June.

I just recently read the book, The Shack by William Young. A fiction book based on some real life elements?? It's hard to know. It had some very challenging areas for me to take in. I am still digesting the elements around inner healing, forgiveness, and where God is when hard things, bad things, really horrendous things happen in life. I would recommend it to anyone wanting a non-traditional, even non-religious approach to having a relationship with God outside of theology, rules, laws, commandments, etc.

I am continually reminded of the miraculous of everyday life, whether it be the beauty of the snow capped mountains at sunrise, to the amazing wonder of a child as he grows and learns to love. I am blessed and continuing on this journey of life through being a wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, family member to all those I encounter.

I am spending more time in quiet contemplation, listening more, and waiting in the presence of God before I quickly fill up my day with all of the expectations and responsibilities I think are required of me. God gently leads me to the important things and is teaching me, not only to let go of my expectations of how I think things "should be" but to allow Him to bring light to the areas where He needs me. I will learn to wait with the expectancy of God showing up and guiding me, if I will allow, to the moments, interactions, kind words, shared pain, and unspoken understanding He brings me into throughout each day. Not just so I can feel good about reaching out to others or allowing others to share something that may benefit me, but to know where His hand is in those moments so I can know Him, His love, and His Sovereignty. Only God will know how it all ultimately plays out. I have faith He will draw all those pursuing truth, to the Truth of His love, His Justice, and provide the divine revelation of who Jesus is and was, from the beginning to the end.

2008-02-01T15:18:00.000-08:00

Spencer with his Goggles and bike helmet

Cole with his black eye after a sledding spill at Wanoga Snow Park

Winter in the Central Oregon Cascades

2008-02-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

Winter is in Full Force here. The boys are now 2 1/2 and almost 5. Cole will be celebrating his birthday in early March.
They both enjoy playing in the snow. This picture was taken on one of our sledding outings. The only one missing in the picture is Chillie, who enjoys running after the boys on their sleds and even knocking them down now and then.
Cole has been learning how to ski and is ready for a longer beginner run now that he has gone down the little hill 4 times on his own. Spencer would love to ski although right now we are using it as a bargaining tool for a potty training reward. We're keeping our fingers crossed.
Jason is still working as a Supervisor for Ski School at Mt. Bachelor and loving all of the challenges that give him ample opportunity to continue to grow and engage his creative side of himself. His health is doing great and anyone who didn't know his past with having a surgery wouldn't even know by looking at him or watching the activities he continues to enjoy. I can't believe in a that it has been a little over a 1 1/2 years now. I continue to thank God everyday for how He has blessed our lives and given our family the gift of time and health to continue to grow, laugh, and thoroughly enjoy the life He has given us to share with one another and our friends.
Blessings to everyone in the New Year of 2008.

Fall 2007, Back in the swing of things

2007-09-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well,
I can't believe summer is over and Fall has definitely hit Central Oregon. Cole is back in preschool this year and soaking everything up like a sponge. It was great to have some family and friends visit from California and Washington.
Spencer is starting to talk up a storm and seems to be saying some interesting phrases, like "bad boy", which I think is what he has picked up when we have caught Chillie eating the garbage and we tell Chillie he is a bad boy and then send him to go have a time out outside.
Very humorous days in our family. Never a dull moment. I told Cole the other day that he needed to get all of his toys picked up prior to going to bed or else I would pick up all of the toys I found out and throw them away or give them to kids who don't have toys. He promptly told me that "You better not come in my room then." I could only laugh because it was so matter of fact and really not in a sassy way.
Jason will be working as the Adult Ski School Manager up on Mt. Bachelor. I continue to do all of the safe school assessments for the school districts in Deschutes County and get an occassional client or two to keep me in the therapy realm. I really enjoy working with the kids and families trying to make our community a safer and more healthy place to live.
This weekend I will celebrate my 35th birthday. How did that happen? I still like to think that I am in my early twenties at heart, but my gray hair is telling me differently. Maybe it's just a sign that God is blessing me with more wisdom.:)
I will post some new pictures soon. But in the meantime, hit the link to the right and check out our family photos.

Family Picture from Last Summer August 2006

2007-06-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

June 2007

2007-06-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

Just an update for those of you who do read the blog. I haven't been very good about updating very frequently but intend to do so more often.
We passed the one year mark after Jason's surgery. Everything is going great and he is back to river rafting this summer. Cole just finished preschool and will go 3 days a week next year. He could go everyday, but I guess that will have to wait until he is in grade school. I hope that I can keep him challenged enough until then. I may have to go back to school and get a philosophy and religion PhD just to be able to have some intelligent answers to all of his questions.
Spencer just decided he would start to talk more the other day. I can't imagine what it will be like when I have two inquistive boys asking me all the questions in life quickly followed by "How do you know that?" Is the best response, "because I know or I just do, now be quiet and don't ask me any more questions I don't have the answers to." I know it's not very nice, but man I tell you, my brain is starting to hurt. They didn't tell you about these things before you have kids.
Well as for me, I am working hard at trying to get all of the dandelions out of the yard before they go to seed and the kids blow all of the fluffy white seeds around to make "wishes" and more dandelions. I am off for the summer and after two weeks, wondering what actuallymight get accomplished other than slivers taken out of the feet and trying to keep shoes and clothes on Spencer.
Oh well, they are only young once and it truly does go by fast. I recently was reminded of the saying about "When you are older and your kids are gone... and your life is nearing it's end...it won't matter that your house was clean, the bank account full, everything on the outside looking grand and perfect. What matters is the amount that we deposit into the lives of our children. They are our legacies and they will be the generations to come that will run this country, care for us as health care providers, and steward the world's resources. We won't have forever to read the same bedtime story that we have read for the past 6 weeks straight, or have a little guy tell you he loves you for no good reason and not just because he wants something, or helping them to put their shoes on or pour their juice and milk.
We were talking about growing up and what happens after we are adults and move on to college and live in our own houses. Cole's eyes starting welling up with tears and then he just started sobbing. When we finally got him calmed down, it was one of those moments when you all feel the same thing. When they are grown it is bittersweet, you may not see them everyday and they won't live in your house forever, but for right now, we all want to believe that we will feel the close feeling of family, the love, laughter, safety, and trust that has been created so far. We all sat there, not quite sure the words to say to make it seem better and ok. I guess it's those times in life, where it's ok to feel the raw emotion of the challenges we face in life without having to explain it away into something it really isn't.
Until next time,

Some photos from December

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

Some photos of the boys taken in December. You will notice in the Christmas tree photo with Spencer we didn't decorate the bottom 1/3 of our tree. Spencer loves to wear hats and loves to run with his diaper on.
Cole is being his usual happy go lucky kind of guy until mom wants him to smile for the camera.

Cole's Fourth Birthday

2007-03-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Well we all survived the bowling party with 9 kids bowling, eating pizza, cake, presents, games, and then the grand fanale of bowling. Of the nine bowlers, 7 were five and under. THe dads deserve an award for the most patient handling of pink and orange bowling balls, trying to keep everyone on task and in the right lanes, as well as keeping the girls twirling on their shoes. It was fun. Cole enjoyed it and was so excited to finally be four this morning. By the evening birthday phone calls from relatives he was actually 4 1/2.
Spencer got a hold of the clippers and had taken a couple of good chunks out before I got it out of his hands. We say that Zorro struck because it looks like the "Z" on the front side of his hair. A come over doesn't even cover it so we will just have to let it grow in.
Jason continues to get stronger and healthier all of the time. He has been cleared by his cardiologist to do pretty much everything he was doing before. He is now starting to rock climb at the local gym, has been running 6 miles 5 days a week and turned his coke and doritos in for daily salads and healthy food.
I continue to work for the county doing safe school assessments and am continually amazed how increasingly serious the person to person crimes are becoming at the schools. Scary doesn't even begin to cover it. Well, at least it gives me the platform to talk about what our community needs to better help these high risk situations.
Enough of that serious talk. I will post a picture of the birthday bash as soon as I edit the pictures.
As for now, we continue to press on and daily thank God for the many blessings shown and given to us.

Montoya Family- Bend, Oregon

2006-12-15T20:59:00.000-08:00

Montoya Family- Bend, Oregon

Just an update as we celbrate the sixth month post-surgery and the Holiday season. It snowed in Bend today, not much in town but quite a bit on the mountain. Cole and I made cupcakes and put "lots" of pretty sprinkles on them. Actually I think we made sprinkles with a little cupcake instead of the other way around.
Cole and Spencer are quite the crew these days. Spencer runs around the house after Cole and Chillie and follows Jason and I around from room to room. He can't quite turn the doorknobs yet so a closed door is still a detour from getting into too much trouble.
Jason is back to work on the mountain full-time, skiing, and supervising the ski instructors out of the smaller lodge. Quite a challenge for him since the small lodge is left alone quite a bit and he finds himself having to do a lot of facilities coordinating as well.
We are truly blessed with continued health, joy, and wonderful friends and family around us.
Updated photos of the boys will follow in the next few days.
Happy Holidays to everyone.

Montoya Family- Bend, Oregon

2006-10-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Montoya Family- Bend, Oregon
An update since it has been a few months now. It is getting colder in Bend these nights ad=nd winter is right around the corner. A year ago we were just beginning the journey of all the travels to the hospitals for all of the second and third opinions. What a year it has been. The mountain, should be opening in less than a month and Jason will be returning to supervise the ski school from the Sunrise Lodge. We are continually amazed at how well Jason has recovered and has a completely new lease on the life he has always wanted to live.
The boys are growing fast and it is so great to experience life through the enthusiastic eyes of a child. We are very thankful for our continued health and strength. We have been blessed with many faithful friends and a caring and supportive extended family who have helped us be sustained throughout this part of our journey. We only hope to extend ourselves to those in need in the future.

A day at the Cascade Lakes

2006-08-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

We went to the lake yesterday and had a great time playing in the water. We found some great camping sites that include nice sandy beaches, shady areas, warm shallow water, and no crowds.

Eight Weeks and Counting

2006-08-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well another milestone has been reached along with a new bit of freedom. Jason has reached the 8 week mark with no complications. He continues to get stronger each and every day. He is doing Cardiac Rehab 3 times a week exercising for a bout an hour each time. He is the rookie of the group for heart surgery and age. I think the one with the most seniority is Mary, she will be 92 in October, and this her 9th year coming to exercise group. I think she was just about to retire when we were born.
Jason is now driving on his own. Can you hear us all cheering from Bend Oregon. Not that we don't love to spend every waking minute of the day together but I know that Jason is happy to be driving himself again and I am happy to send him off for a bit and now have to lug the kids around, drop them off, and drive all around town shuttling between appointments.
It's amazing to think that 8 weeks has already gone by and in the same thought that 8 weeks ago we were just beginning the journey. We are both so thankful that God has had us continually in his hand and so much appreciate the many hands that have carried us through this time in our lives. We are definitely stronger as individuals, as a couple, and a family.
I have learned a few lessons in life over this time. Most importantly that there is a God, and He does care about us individually. Ask us sometime about the specific moments we have literally experienced God during this time. Another lesson is so many people are in such a hurry and get so upset if you hold them up for even a few seconds. Jason was shuffling through the grocery store and a lady with a cart couldn't get by him and was huffing and puffing saying something about needing to get by. Jason apologized and said, "I can't move any faster, I just had open heart surgery." I think she said sorry as we let her past. I was struck by how much we miss by hurrying through so many opportunities and at how much in a hurry so many people are.
Even though there have been difficult moments this time is truly a treasure in life. We have actually had the opportunity to spend some significant time with each other, our children, and our family and friends. Many families do not get that opportunity to spend 3 months worth of time together all at once. We can both say we were both there when Spencer and Cole had many first moments, walking, climbing on top of the dining room table, Cole's first pony ride, first roller coaster.
One more month and I am back to work, Cole will start preschool and the routine of work, school, the ins and outs of the days will take over. I only hope that the foundation that has been laid the past 8 weeks will be that strong foundation for our family for the rest of our lives.
Some people have asked how I remained so strong during this time. Well, God gave me a verse from Isaiah in February that I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how it related to my life.
The message paraphrase of the Bible states as part of Isaiah 30:15, "Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me."
God was my only answer I could depend on. The outcome was in His hands and I knew He would have me in them regardless of the outcome. We know now that God has a pretty big plan for Jason and our lives together and all those he will encounter for the rest of his life.
Until later. . . . .
PS, check out our new photos on the flickr link for our photo site.

Birthday #?

2006-07-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Some of you have heard the story of someone asking Jason how old he was currently and how old he was going to be on his birthday. He replied quite quickly 31. Since I was in the room at the time and was quite shocked that he was aggravating yet another person ?, I said, "really, do you really think your 31?" He replied with an assured yes and was in fact quite positive that he was only 31 and going to turn 32 on the 26th of July. I told him then that he was in fact 33 turning 34. He was quite puzzled that that could actually be true. So a few days later when we visited his doctors office, while making sure all of the paperwork was correct, he said again to me, "Look, even my doctor thinks of 33." I just shook my head and replied, "it's because you are 33 and will be 34 on the 26th."
So the 26th has come and gone and we are in Eugene this week to celebrate Jason and Justin's birthday yesterday and will celebrate Mike and Spencers this weekend when the rest of the family come into town.
We are having a nice time, Cole and Spencer are getting some time to spend with their cousins who live here. We will see them all again in 2 weeks in Bend/Sunriver when they all come into town for a family business meeting. We are making it an annual event for August.
Jason continues to get stronger, more fiesty, and much like the smart aleck everyone knows and loves. We just celebrated 6 weeks from the date of surgery and we were all extremely grateful at the birthday dinner last night to celebrate another.
Hopefully within the next 2 weeks he will have clearance from his doctor to drive and start lifting more than 5 lbs again.
Then again it's only time, and it's nice to spend time together all as a family.
Until the next installment. . . .

Getting stronger and settling in

2006-07-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

Just wanting to give everyone who still may be checking in an update on Jason and our family. Jason is getting stronger and stronger everyday. He is able to go longer periods without resting and walking a bit faster around the loop in our neighborhood. We have seen his cardiologist in town and are getting PT for his leg and trying to get his Coumadin levels figured out. All in all, we are all doing great. All I have to say is thank goodness for the life we live and the friends and family we have who continue to be such a great support for us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Cole is in "sports camp" for the week at our Athletic Club. First day went fine, Cole just takes a little while to get adjusted around new things and people. At least he wasn't hanging on my leg screaming to not leave like another kid.
Spencer is starting to get really busy. He is constantly on the move when he's not eating and now trying to climb on things. He is trying to learn how to go down the stairs and starting to get brave and let go of things sooner. He loves Chillie dog and is always laying on him, climbing on him and giving him lots of love. We are trying to help him to learn how to be gentle with other babies, since he wants to poke their eyes and lay on them to give them hugs just like he does with Cole and Chillie. He just doesn't realize that babies get squished and weigh less than him even if they are the same age range.
Changing diapers has become an olympic type sport. I watched a friend this weekend use the "leg technique" which I thought I would try out on good ol' Spencie. Put your leg over him, give him a toy to play with, and change fast. At least my leg and the toy prevent him from reaching the diaper and whatever happens to be in it at the time. At least this way I am not chasing him all over the house trying to get him dressed and changed and I haven't worked up as much of a sweat by the time I'm done.
Whew, needless to say, I'm exhausted but holding up fairly well. This too shall pass and when Jason gets the clear from the doctor I told him I was going to an undisclosed location for the month of August so that I can have some alone time, by myself :). Not really, but at least I will be able to go read a book while I work out.

Still getting better and better

2006-07-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you all know that Jason continues to do great. He has his ups and downs with pain and headaches but overall is building his stamina and energy. He continues to struggle at times with the reality that he still is recovering in every way, both mentally and physically. He has some moments of confusion and can't remember much of his time in the hospital. He is tired tonight and resting. Spencer went down early so Cole and I went to play soccer outside for a bit so Jason could have a bit of quiet in the house.
Cole will start swimming lessons tomorrow which will hopefully help him with his hesitance around the pool. We are having his friend Abby be his buddy in his class, since everything Abby does, Cole will try also. We'll keep our fingers crossed.
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS AND SUPPORT TO OUR FAMILY IT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.

After 5 days home

2006-07-07T20:53:00.001-07:00

Well, I haven't posted since we returned since there wasn't a whole lot to report. We are getting settled in at home and into the swing of family life with two kids. Spencer is cruising on everything and getting brave and doing a few hands free stands before falling down on "buns" as Cole calls them. Cole is keeping us all using our brains because he is constantly asking "why" to everything. Finally we had to tell him to start thinking of the answers first and ask us if they are right. Cole and Spencer are starting to entertain each other a bit more and of course starting to fight as well. Spencer is a bit of a scratcher and tries to bite. Cole will need to get a little quicker and get out of his range faster.
We just got finished with a walk around our neighborhood. Cole was riding his scooter, Spencer in the stroller reaching out for Cole the entire time, and Jason and I strolling a lot. Jason is getting stronger although his slow stamina s still surprising to him. He is pretty good about resting when he needs to and not overdoing it.
We took the boys to the park this morning to play with some of our friends. Then this afternoon I took the boys down to the pool. Spencer likes the water but hasn't quite learned yet that he isn't a fish and can't breathe under water. He is fearless. We are always telling each other that he is the one who is going to give us a run for our money. He looks like a "Johnson" and has the personality of taking risk like his daddy. Even Jason says it. There may just be another generation of "notorious" Montoya boys. Only time will tell.
That's it for now. Until Later. . . .

After 5 days home

2006-07-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Officially Home

2006-07-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

We are all officially home now. We are still getting settled, unpacked, and reacquainted with our house and what we need to do around here.
We are happy to be home and ready to get into a "normal" routine again. I have to say that the kids have done well and all those who have cared for them have done great at keeping them on their schedules and routines.
Spencer continues to be getting new teeth as well as showing us all of the new tricks that everyone has been teaching him. Cole is running around in his new pajamas that have the superman cape on the back. So for all of you who may be talking to Cole, he has informed me he is ""Super Cole, when wearing his uniform!"
The main obstacle we are facing right now at home is that our air conditioner is broken and the forecast is for more hot weather. The TV channel said it is already 84 and it's only 9:00. So the AC guys are coming out to save the day. Of course, Jason is walking around the house wrapped up in a blanket because his inner thermostat has yet to regulate and his body temperature fluctuates so much during the day.
Call us, email us, and call to see if Jason is up for any visitors.

Pictures of the Family

2006-07-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

We took these pictures yesterday so that you can all see how good we all look :). We wanted to get a few pictures with Cole and his daddy and Uncle Justin.

We are planning to fly home tomorrow to Bend. What a relief it is to finally be going home to get back to somewhat of a normal routine.

I have to say that despite all of the ups and downs, the kids have done wonderfully, and everyone else have done their part to be helpful, caring, and not get on each other's nerves.

Jason went to get his blood level checked today to make sure his Coumadin levels are alright.

He mentioned to me this morning that today and yesterday he has felt the most alive and normal again. I'm sure it will only get better as he continues to heal and build his strength.

Take care everybody.

What a long strange trip it's been

2006-06-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
I have made a break for it and am now sitting in my hotel room. I thought I would take a moment to again thank everyone for everything (literally). I have had many discussions with family members over the last couple and have a few thoughts to share with you. I am hoping that everyone is healthy and can appreciate that. My surgery will force a lifestyle change for the better (i.e. diet). Also this time down here was wonderful in bringing my family closer together and I hope everyone takes time to appreciate theirs. Finally, I beleive Bre mentioned in a post a while back that I woke up under heavy medications and thought I was dead. I was freaked out and thought about two things my wife and boys and my releationship with God. There are a lot of different things I could say now but the main point it that I love them and they love me.
I look forward to seeing you all next week, however, I still need some rest. Please call ahead so I can see you all. Part of my recovery is taking walks and I would love some company.
Love you all,
Jason

Their Kicking Him Out

2006-06-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

The great news is that Jason learned late last evening that today is the day they are sending him off. So now he has eaten breakfast, showered, and now waiting for the discharge details which include taking the IV out, getting the low down on the meds he will be taking from here on out. The good news about that is he isn't using much pain meds, they are taking him off of the heart rhythm med because his heart is beating nice and regular now, and he will basically have his coumadin and a baby aspirin to take, which will be the regimen forever now.
Cole is excited to see his daddy. We are going to breakfast to take up a little time and then I will go down to the hospital to pick up Justin and Jason a bit later. Hopefully it will be before lunch so Jason is saved from eating another Low Salt, no flavor, hospital meal. We will have to watch his sodium intake for the first 6 weeks anyway but at least we can find some better tasting food which might actually encourage him to eat a bit more.
We will take some pictures and put them on for you to see Jason and Cole once he comes to our "new house" as Cole calls the hotel.
The journey continues and we will continue to add updates to the blog from now until, well I guess when I get tired of telling you all about what is going on in our part of the world.

White Counts Down Again, Waiting for Tomorrow

2006-06-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

The result of the white cell scan showed no infection anywhere in his body. It is normal at times for white counts to be higher around the site of the incision, heart graft, etc. just due to the trauma and healing of the heart.
White counts were down again this morning to 16. It needs to be around 11-12 before they will release us.
Cole will be flying in a couple of hours with Justin. We are trying to talk the staff into allowing Jason a bit more time off of the unit. They won't let him off of the property but we can go around the property and find some places to hang out in the fresh air together.
Jason is ready to be free, he is tired of being a "pin cushion" and having people scan him, probe him, and generally tell him what to do. He is starting to try to talk his way into things so we definitely know he is feeling better.
We will take a walk here in a bit so he can get out before it gets too hot.
So there is nothing to do today except sit around and wait for the next blood draw tomorrow morning at 6:00.
Will keep you posted.

Feeling Good, Whites down, less meds

2006-06-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well,
I guess I have caused some anxiety since I didn't post a blog last night or yet this am.
Jason reports that he feels good today. They discharged his antibiotics to see if there is any change in his counts since they were going up and down with them anyway. His counts are down to 19.5 this am.
They will start weaning him off of the Oxycontin today and replace it with vicodin to see if his pain is managed with that.
He is excited to see Cole.
His white cell scan should be around noonish today. They have to squeeze him in since they don't have any slots available.
If everything continues to go well he could be discharged Thursday and we are scheduled to fly home Sunday evening.

I have been thinking a lot lately which probably doesn't surprise a lot of people who know me well. I was thinking the other night about how much Jason was missing Cole, and longing to be reuinited with him because his "heart" was hurting so much for that closeness in relationship. As I was going to sleep that night I was thinking, "That's how it is with God and us. He loves us so much, in comparison to how we feel about our love for those we love the greatest, that is only a fraction of how God longs to be in relationship with us."
For some reason, I had never thought about it that way before, probably because I hadn't experienced what it would be to lose someone that I love so much in a while and being separated from my kids for the first time.
Thank goodness for God's steadfast love and faithfulness. Nothing else would be sustaining me at this time.
Until later. . . .

White Counts Up Again, Waiting on New Plan

2006-06-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ok,
of course things continue to be a bit challenging. It's a good thing I am reading a book "Ruthless Trust", all about trusting God. God is good that way, making sure we have what we need when we need it most.

So, the white counts are up, they don't know where the infection is so they will be running a white cell scan test today, giving him a transfusion of 2 units because his Red Blood Cells are down, and trying to see if an Infectious Disease Doctor can consult with the team.

Jason is really missing Cole so we are going to fly him down again, along with Uncle Justin, our family doctor, to help us with all of the "doctor" communication.

We haven't exactly nailed down the specifics, but Sara has offered to watch Spencer or I will see what my parents want to do about that.

We are moving to a hotel today. the doctor said we could be here another week.

Ok Prayer Team- (that means anyone who prays) go into overtime.
The Physician's Assistant who saw Jason walking around the unit said, "You don't look sick, we have to get you out of here."
More updates to come......

From the horses mouth

2006-06-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am feeling in good spirits and just wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you for your prayers and support. I am still waiting to get this infection figured out but now is the time. Hope all is well with you in the world, I know it is with me.
Jason

Smiling, Getting Antibiotics, Showing Cole his Legs

2006-06-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

We had to take a picture of Jason today after he had shaved was looking better, got the chest tube out, and so we could show Cole that his daddy does have legs. He asked his grandma where daddy's legs were in the other photo we took.

Jason is continuing to walk, do his breathing exercises and eat.

We will see what his white counts are tomorrow and what the results of the CT scan were today.

I'm off to sleep since it has been hard to come by lately.

Chest Drain Out, White counts up

2006-06-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

The good news is that Jason had his final chest tube removed. The challenging area that we are facing right now is that his white counts have increased over the past few days despite the mega antibiotics he is on. It's a bit of a mystery to the doctors as to where this "infection" may be but they will be doing a CT scan today to see if that will detect anything different.
So we may not be home as scheduled on Monday evening. We will keep everyone posted on how things are going.
Jason can go off the unit for two 30 minute periods daily now so will get him up to the computer once the CT scan is done and he might send a note to everyone.
Thanks for the encouraging words and prayers. We are very fortunate to be blessed with our family and friends.
I just talked to a woman whose husband has been in the Neuro unit for 9 weeks. Major infections in his brain due to poor care by previous doctors. He's 32 with a 5 and 6 year old. Keep him in your prayers. His name is Chris.

It puts it into perspective when we are just waiting a matter of days for release. He will be here more than likely for many months.

Take care

Off the unit for 30 minutes

2006-06-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

The uplifting part of the day was that Jason was encouraged by receiving emails and he was able to unhook his heart monitor and go off of the unit and walk outside for 30 minutes. It was the first time he had been in the fresh air and sun since Tuesday the 13th.
He decided he is not wearing the hospital gowns or pants anymore because he doesn't want to wear anything that associates him with being sick. So Diane went shopping to get some adjustable sandals, some pajamas and loungewear. One of the Nursing Assistants commented that he didn't look like a patient anymore but rather a visitor.
We are hoping and praying that tomorrow is the big day for the chest tube removal. If it happens before 6pm tomorrow we will be able to fly home Monday night but if not, we will have to wait 48 hours after removal to fly due to air pockets and altitude and other medical anomalies that could occur.
Jason misses Cole and wants to get out and home. We are trying to taking it one nursing shift at a time and trying to bribe anyone that comes into the room to take out the tube:)
Jason asked for rice krispy treats(his favorite), chicken, beef jerky, and apple juice. He is sick of the hospital food as well as the ensure. They don't care what he eats at this point as long as he eats.
Tracy will fly home with Spencer tomorrow and reunite him with my parents and Cole. Cole is ready for Spencer to be home since he says he "misses his baby."
Good Night to all. Thanks for all of the love and support.

Disappointing but All's Well

2006-06-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

Jason called the house this morning to say the doctor is not taking out the chest drain today. He and we all were very disappointed because no chest drain means he gets to go home. They usually send home the day after the chest drain is removed so that means probably not tomorrow, hopefully Sunday.

Here's a picture of Jason we took yesterday to show you all how well he looks.

If anyone wants to email me a word of encouragement for Jason, I will print it off for him to read. He's a bit down today, but hopefully his spirits will rise throughout the day.

my email is bremontoya@bendcable.com

Take Care and God Bless. Off the the airport to pick up Tracy so she can be with Spencer.
Make sure you hit the link to look at our pictures on the family pictures website.

Doing better overall

2006-06-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well, today just may be that "all-star" day we've been waiting for all week. Jason is off of all IV pole drips and only needs to be hooked up to the pole for his antibiotics. He is getting a massage right now so is enjoying that. Today was the first time I can say I have seen him smile. He got to see Spencer and he gave him a few kisses. Spencer just kept going in for more, putting his head into Jason's cheek.
He is eating more and walked without his walker this morning. We brought him in a new mattress pad and a fan for his hot/cold flashes.
He is making a conscious decision to make a big effort to eat and get well so he can get out of the hospital.
I will be leaving the hospital early today to go home and relieve Betsy since she is flying home tonight. What a blessing she has been for us and what a great opportunity for Spencer to spend some quality time with her as well as myself. This whole experience has definitely brought the importance of family, friends, and how precious life is every day. I thank God for the blessed life he has given us.

Resting with a Fighting Spirit

2006-06-22T04:08:00.000-07:00

I just finished my shift and thought I would let you know that I think we've turned a corner. Jason has been getting some rest tonight in between waking up to pee which is good. I keep telling him I'm putting a sticker on his potty chart every time he goes. He is still having a little confusion but of course I can't help but chuckle at times. He rose up out of bed tonight real quick and almost stood up immediately. I had to remind him he was in the hospital again, which he remembered more quickly. I told him instead of sitting straight up in bed he needed to let me help him get up. So then he started walking to the side of the bed real quick. I said where are you going, "to catch that cat over there." "Oh what kind of cat was it." He quickly remarked, "A quick cat." I told him as I couldn't help but laugh that there really wasn't a cat. Then he said, "I'm getting us outta here." So wondering his thought process this time whether he was going to make a break for the door or not, I said, "When are we going?", He replied, "I'm going to eat and do my breathing exercises so we can get out of here in a few days. I'm ready to be home with you and my boys."
So the goal tomorrow is to eat and inflate his lungs.
Good Night, or Good Morning.

Once more today

2006-06-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Once more update this evening before I head back to the hospital for an evening shift. Jason has quite a day since I last updated. Hallucinations, emotions running crazy with fears and tears.
Keep him in your prayers tonight that the sleep med we got ordered would just conk him out so that he will just sleep through anything that happens.
He finally fell asleep this late afternoon, was snoring and drooling so I thought I was in the clear to slip out have the nurse make a do not disturb sign for his door and get Diane the update without disturbing him. Well, he woke up, called my name several times, was disoriented, thought the room was different, couldn't feel his body, couldn't figure out why he had tubes and things attached to him, and on top of it all was convinced that he was dead and watching this all take place from up above. He was so afraid he tried to get out into the hall trying to make sure we knew he was alive, fearing we wouldn't be able to see him because he was dead. Phew... What an emotional roller coaster. I assured him that he was alive, his heart was fixed now, he wasn't going to die, and that he needed to trust that God wouldn't have brought him this far just to have him die now.
He was also concerned that I didn't care about what was going on over the past few days that I wasn't concerned for him. I assured him that if it seemed as if weren't emotional or freaking out was that I have been doing a lot of praying and giving these things over to God and that He was truly my strength because Jason needed me to be strong for him right now.
I came home to put Spencer to bed, eat some dinner, and get my stuff together to be there until 3:30am.
Thank you for your continued prayer support and words of encouragement.
We will certainly have some stories to tell in the future reminding Jason of this time in our lives.
Good night to everyone.

Calling in the Reinforcements

2006-06-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

The Odyssey continues as you all know. With the excitement of last night including a bout of irregular heartrate with it reaching the 180's, they started a new IV with a new med to get that under control. That bit of excitement started about 1:00 am, John called for Diane to come down to the hospital and then an hour later Jason wanted me to come also. It scared him and John nonetheless and needed some good reassurance that everything was going to be ok. The doctor assured him that it was normal for the first 4-6 weeks to have irregular heart rates. We will just have to keep an eye on it and get him the doctor or ER in the event it happens at home. So back to bed at 4:00 for me, Diane finished the night shift and we switched again around 11:30am.
So the new possible discharge date may be over the weekend. We should be able to travel home on Monday as planned. Betsy will stay an extra day and we decided this morning instead of flying in someone to help with Spencer over the weekend we are flying my friend Tracy down to transport him home on Saturday morning to be with Cole and my parents until we get home. What a blessing to have so many people willing to step in at any moment to help us during this time. Tracy will fly in Friday morning and be with Spencer all day.
Jason's spirits are a bit down today, he is very overwhelmed with not feeling good, and sick and tired of it all. His mouth sores have not gotten much better although he is a trooper and forcing himself to eat some. The Dilatid is making him sick and have hallucinations so we have changed his pill med to Oxycontin which is a longer lasting (12hr) pill that will hopefully work better than the percocet and help him get off the Dilatid completely. Prayers for pain control, healing for all of the other ailments are much appreciated. Pray also for Jason's mood to lift. We are getting an order to take him outside this afternoon to sit in the shade. Hopefully a little fresh air will give him a boost.
It's hard to see him so much in pain, frustrated, tearful, and generally feeling quite bad when a week ago we walked in here with him feeling strong and healthy. Although we do know now that his heart wasn't healthy although he felt good on the outside.
I continue to thank God for His continual hand in all that is going on here. I know he is holding Jason tight and giving him hope for the future with our family.
God Bless to everyone.

Two Slow Shuffles Forward, One Step Back

2006-06-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, for the most part things are going well. One more chest tube out today, one to go. He also got his central line out of his neck and only hooked up to the heart monitors, oxygen monitors, and one IV. Considering how he looked coming out of surgery just one week ago, I would definitely say it is amazing how well he is doing. Jason has been asking me if people are checking the blog and making sure I am putting on updates. I assured him that many are checking in on his progress, sending their love and prayers all of the time. He asked again for me to tell him what actually happened the day of the surgery. He wants to know if the doctors took pictures because he wants to know what everything looks like on the inside now. He stood up and wanted to check out all of his "battle wounds" in the mirror. I told him he probably had more and longer incisions than he originally expected. We decided to count, so there is a small one on his neck, a 4-5 inch one right below his collar bone, three 1 in incisions for the drain tubes, and one on each leg were they were trying to access the femoral arteries. Oh yes, of course the sternum incision that starts at the indentation at the bottom of his throat and extends to the base of the sternum.
He reports he started out his day thinking it would be an "all-star" day and part way through the morning it ended up "no bueno". He vomited up quite a volume, right after his morning walk, then he realized part way through the night his doctor detected he has sores in his mouth and thrush. So eating is difficult because it burns and hurts. The catch is if he doesn't eat he feels nauseous due to the pain meds. So now he is on more meds to treat his anolmalies. We decided that starting this afternoon he could end his day being an "all-star" day. He walked twice when I was with him today, is getting irritable with everyone poking and asking him questions, he is annoyed by the alarms on his monitors going off all of the time, and he wants to get better so he can come home. The doctor says that Friday more than likely will be the day. Anything earlier we will consider bonus.
Hopefully tomorrow another chest tube will be out and he may be able to walk without a walker.
Thank goodness for the strength that God provides. His angels must definitely be working overtime.

A few more days than expected

2006-06-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Things continue to go well for Jason although the surgical team is telling us he may not get out of the hospital until Thursday or Friday now. Hopefully two more chest tubes out tomorrow. He is still coughing a lot and they are doing blood and other cultures to make sure pneumonia isn't setting in. They finally changed his pain meds today and put him on patient administered Dilatid. That has seemed to control his pain quite a bit better. He is really drowsy and falls asleep in mid-sentence at times. We have to prod him to get a full sentence. Betsy brought Spencer down to see Jason again. I think it continues to lift his spirits a bit and Spencer doesn't seemed phased by all of the tubes and everything else.
We have decided to not have any more NA's at night because the two we have had haven't been particularly helpful. The one last night wanted to watch TV and he wouldn't turn the TV off. So Diane and John are switching off during the night. Betsy and John will extend their stay one more day and Rick will be coming back next Monday to help us travel back. He may even join us on our flight to Bend just because the planes into Redmond are smaller and Jason will have to climb the stairs to the plane and I just wasn't so sure how I would help him and carry Spencer since Spencer is on my lap. So each day we learn more, get more of our questions asked, and become more competent and confident and providing Jason's nursing needs while we are with him. I told Diane today that in the end we would submit them our bill for our services. It seems like there is always something to do, whether its grabbing the nurse, checking the drain tubes, getting him up and down, encouraging him to eat more food and helping him to be more comfortable. I think there was only about one hour today that I actually sat down.
anyway, we will continue to update this as we find out more information. It's just a little slower than the quicker progress from earlier.
Take care.

Happy Father's Day

2006-06-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

Spencer came to see his daddy today for a few minutes to give him some pats and put his head on Jason's shoulder. He wanted his daddy to hold him and play with all of the lines in his neck. Needless to say he wasn't afraid of the tubes and incision line on his chest. I think Cole would have had a different reaction.
Jason continues to make progress. He has been sitting up at meal time to eat some food. He has had heartburn and sore throat so making it uncomfortable to eat. We sent Diane to pick up a round of milkshakes. Justin just said his goodbyes and he and Sara will be heading home to Eugene today. Sara has been a tremendous help with the boys as well as my parents. It's nice to have people around to care for them so I didn't have multiple worries other than Jason to deal with . I finally got about 10+ hours of sleep last night. Sara took Spencer duty so she got up with him at 5:50 this morning. Betsy and John are here with us still so will continue to help with Spencer when Diane and I are at the hospital.
Jason got one of his chest tubes out, the dressing off of his chest incision off, and the catheter out. So he is focused on drinking enough water so he can pee on his own:). He took a walk down to the nurses station and back and continues to make good progress. We will have him take another walk after dinner. They will be doing an extra chest x-ray today since he is spitting a little blood and his lungs are still a little wet. Sorry for the graphic details but some people want to know the specifics since they can't be here. Justin left us with his list of questions to ask the doctor next go around. So Jason is resting now, watching a bit of golf and taking a nap at the same time. I'm sure that is what my dad is doing too!

Out of ICU and into a private room

2006-06-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Well, here is the update. It's been a long day but Jason finally got out of ICU around 4:00pm. We visited most of the day with him and Justin and I have come home for dinner. He is doing well, tired for the most part. He even ate a bit of a hamburger, some chicken soup, and a little ice cream. They had him up sitting in a chair this morning, at lunch, and again at dinner. We know he is feeling better because he is starting to complain about things and even being a bit sarcastic with his brothers. They started an antibiotic due to the continued inflammation and redness in his foot this am. Justin strongly suggested the antibiotic and they followed that recommendation. We will see if it feels any better tomorrow. We are trying to hire a private nursing assistant to be with him during the night. The one main thing we are learning about a teaching hospital is that post-op care has been a bit hit and miss. So we want to make sure that he gets moved, food, pain pills when he requests them and not hours later. So Diane and Justin will pull the night shift tonight while I stay home with Spencer. I will go back after I put Spencer down for his first nap tomorrow. Cole left this morning with my mom and dad. I'm sure they are pulling into Redmond about now. He was sad he didn't get to see his daddy but we will take a picture and send him a care package this week. i think we will take Spencer in for a quick visit tomorrow to see if it will lift Jason's spirits a bit. More to update tomorrow.

Resting and waiting for a transfer bed

2006-06-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to update this evening. We are waiting still for a transfer bed. It will more than likely happen over the next few days. Jason is resting again and they are trying to get his pain under control so that he can take deeper breaths have stronger coughs and actually get more rest instead of shallow breaths and small coughs due to pain and then being continually exhausted. He still has pain on his lower left shin which they put a lidocaine patch on. It is the big mystery as to what happened during surgery to cause the pain. Justin has made pen marks on his leg so that we can see if it is getting worse or changing for the better. We will know better tomorrow. The X-ray showed nothing. His chest x-rays are good so far and they will do another in the morning. His nurses today have been great, a bit more lenient with family visits lasting a bit longer. We will see him one more time tonight and then be back again in the am. I will actually stay home a bit longer in the am until Cole and my parents are on their way. He has been having a hard time with his mom being in and out and not being able to see his daddy. He had a melt down last night and needed my mom to sleep next to him. Spencer was then up from 3:30-5:30 am. He is teething so trying to give him tylenol for the pain. Needless to say we are all due for a good rest and peaceful sleep. Please pray for Jason's pain to get under control, his leg pain to go away so he can put weight on his leg and get up and around, and a good rest tonight. The same request for sleep and rest for the other family members. We are all holding up well. We are continually grateful for our friends and family and all of the prayers, love, and support. Thank you to everyone.

Picture of Jason June13th

2006-06-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

P1010014.JPG
Originally uploaded by montoyabre.

Jason sends his love and thanks to everyone who is supporting and praying for us. He is doing great. He will be moved out of ICU as soon as there is a bed available. He sat up in a chair for a bit this pm and doing great. He is resting now and we will be going back to see him this evening. Cole will be going home tomorrow with my parents back to Bend. We will be sending a picture home with him so he can look at his daddy anytime he wants.

The first day hurdles are over

2006-06-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

Well,
I will send a brief update before I head to bed to get some rest. Jason is sleeping finally. He is doing well, continuing to cough, has been complaining of a sore shin and blister on his heel all day. Actually complaining more of the pain in his lower shin than the pain from the surgery. Anyway he sat up on the edge of the bed and has taken in some apple juice and lemon ice. They have been talking about moving him into his "step down" room, which is out of ICU tomorrow afternoon if everything continues to go well. He has been really coherent, remembering all of our visits, and being a god patient.
He took the news of having his valve replaced in stride, knowing he will never have to go through this again and get to watch his kids grow up without having to worry about his valve or aneurysm. He understands how truly lucky he was, as active as he has been, to not have had a dissection or rupture of his aneurysm before. We are all so thankful, knowing in the back of our minds that if it would have been an emergency situation, with the difficulty it took to get to his heart through the scar tissue, he probably wouldn't have survived. The surgeon also said another surgery would have been treacherous and significantly dangerous to undergo in the future.
So many blessings, so many thanksgivings. I can't truly express how thankful I am for Jason's health and God taking care of us all throughout this whole time.
We will keep you updated tomorrow.

An official update after three different visits this am

2006-06-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

Well, Jason is stable, continuing to make progress and actually looks quite well considering how long he was in surgery yesterday. We have been able to visit every two hours for the first half hour. It's amazing how fast each waiting period to visit goes by.
So here are some more specific details. First of all Jason hasn't needed anymore transfusion which is good because after a talk with the anesthesiologist last night we learned that he needed between 40-50 units throughout the day. His body went through DIC which basically means a reaction much like auto-pilot anticoagulant. So they had to bring in the big guns and give him some special order clotting agents to tell his body "you gotta stop this bleeding". We were very thankful to not get a phone call during the night because as we were told, "No news is good news." So throughout the am he became more alert and actually could remember us coming in from the visits before and what we had been talking about. His biggest complaint is that his left leg is aching and he has a huge blister on his left heel. His throat hurts and wants more water than we are allowed to give him but he it is helping him to cough up some of the junk in his lungs. He is coughing quite a bit which is good, so he doesn't get pneumonia, and has had the oxegyn mask removed for the time being. His body is slowly taking back control over the things so he can get off of the multiple drip meds etc. so he can move to the next step.
I will be going back this evening and will have another update around 10pm or so. Thanks for the prayers, the support, and the words of encouragement you have sent over the past few days.

ICU update

2006-06-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

When we called at 7:00 am, they reported he was stable and the breathing tube was out. We will get more details when visiting hours open at 10:00 am. We will be allowed to visit every 2 hours throughout his stay in ICU so we will keep you posted. Oh by the way, we felt a small earthquake this morning just for a little extra excitement.

Out and in ICU for the night

2006-06-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

We haven't been able to see him except for a moment when he passed us in the hall into the ICU. The surgeon Dr. Miller just gave us a recap of the journey with Jason today. What a miracle is all I can truly say to describe what he told us.
They replaced the aneurysm, which they discovered after 4-5 hours of cutting into him due to the significant amount of scar tissue that Jason's body produces, was paper thin in multiple areas where the doctor could actually see the blood pumping through. Which by the way, is not normal. We found out that Jason had a bicuspid valve with a bovine arch. I will let all of you internet researchers figure out what exactly that means. The Dr. as of yet does not know exactly why Jason had the aneurysm but will look at cells under the microscope to see if he can see anything more clearly. Currently Jason is stable, sedated, and the only concern is his blood not clotting normally. Justin, our resident doctor assured us that it was pretty normal considering the amount of scar tissue and the length of the surgery. They are giving him platelets and plasma to help him with the clotting. They will continue to monitor this and hopefully it will slow down on its own and they won't have to go back in and cauterize the sources of the bleeding. Needless to say, we are all relieved and anxious to see him briefly tonight. Hopefully in the morning he will be awake and have his breathing tube out. That is the official update and we will keep you posted.
God Bless and thank you for the prayer support through this time for us.

Almost finished

2006-06-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update to let you know that Jason is off the bypass machine and his heart is pumping on its own. They are sewing him up and the surgeon will be out to talk to us in a half an hour to an hour. We should be able to see him around 9:00 pm.
Wow what a day. I can't tell you how many different faces that I've seen today with the whole range of emotions. Some families hearing bad news, the hollow stares of unbelief and the tears and sighs of relief from those hearing good news. It's quite an interesting place to spend a day, in a surgery waiting room for the North ICU. So you know that anyone there has a loved one that will need ICU before a transfer to a less intensive room.
Thank you God for giving us the strength to endure, the peace that surpasses all understanding and the never ending hope that our lives are forever in your hands and care.

More than Halfway through

2006-06-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

Just another update this afternoon. The surgical coordinator came out about an hour ago and told us that after looking and feeling Jason's valve that he was replacing it with a mechanical valve. So the good news in all of this is No More planned open heart surgeries to replace valves. The aneurysm will be completely replaced up into the trunk of the aorta and the valve is already sewn into the synthetic dacron material which will replace part of his aorta. This also means the surgery will take less time since they won't have to be sewing in his valve to the material. Needless to say we all have mixed reactions but know that it is all part of the grand plan of Jason's life. So Jason will be on an anti-coagulant- Coumadin (sp?) for the rest of his life and we will be able to hear his valve clicking open and closed when everything is really quiet, like at night or maybe during meditation :).
so we will be getting an update at a quarter to four this afternoon and expect him to be off the bypass machine by then and being sewn back up and ready to move to ICU. We are all mentally preparing for him to look swollen, with a lot of tubes, and completely sedated which will be hard to see I'm sure, but we will be happy to see him alive with his heart repaired. Until then.....

The beginning of the day

2006-06-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that they wheeled him into the operating room a little after 7:00 am this morning. Justin, Diane, and I came with him this morning to send him off into the good hands of the surgical staff and God. We were all very emotional. I think the hardest part is saying goodbye and having to watch him go knowing we would all trade places with him if we could or at least hold his hand throughout the procedure. I trust God is there giving him the peace he needs to know that he is not alone.
We just got a visit from one of the staff that everything is going smoothly so far. We should hear details from the surgical nurse within the next few hours. They are anticipating that the surgery could last until 6pm because the surgeon is a "perfectionist with connective tissues". I guess that's not a bad quality to have as a surgeon and comforting to know that he takes the time and care that he needs to make sure healing and recovery will go as planned.
We will keep you updated. Thanks for all of the prayers and support. It is amazing what the power of prayer will do to keep us strong and at peace while we wait.
Until later

Pictures of the Family

2006-06-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some family pictures to show you a bit of the backyard of the house.

Update on some details

2006-06-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

Just wanting to give everyone a bit of a timeline and schedule for the events tomorrow. We spent about 5 hours doing pre-op stuff today. Needless to say, Jason felt a bit like a test specimen being poked, prodded, and told what to do. All of our nerves were on over drive by the time we were finished today.
I was glad that I had told Diane and Jason prior to today that I get faint sometimes and pass out in hospitals. And sure enough, I almost went down, needed a cool towel, and came around about twenty minutes later while we were meeting with the surgical coordinator nurse. I think my blood pressure is just generally too low and hearing about medical procedures makes me a bit woozy. Anyway, hopefully I will be done with that and be able to deal with all of the tubes, noises and hospital smells tomorrow.
So the low down is this...
Arrive 5:30 am
2 hours prep with the anesthesiologist and sanitizing of everything. He will go into the beginning stages of surgery around 7:30-8:00. The first two hours will be cutting open and prepping to go on the bypass machine. He could be on the bypass for 3-5 hours, then checking how everything works once off bypass. Then the closing up of everything. They will then take him to ICU sedated and intubated. When he wakes up once he is breathing on his own well they will take the breathing tube out. He should be in ICU for 2 days including tomorrow (the surgery day) and then transferred to a different room.
All in all the surgery should go from 7:30 until at the latest 5:00 pm. I will try to send out updates throughout the day if I can and then after he is stable and the surgery is over.
We are all holding up pretty well. We just need some good sleep tonight and a lot of prayers throughout the day tomorrow.
Thanks for everyone's support.

An Interview worth reading

2006-06-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

My Aunt sent me this and I thought it was so applicable to every moment of life. As for us at this moment we are placing our trust in God because that is the only assurance we have. Have a blessed day.

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales.

This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life " author and minister of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

"People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body -- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, 'which is my problem, my issues, my pain'.

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started with the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.

A hike in Shevlin Park

2006-06-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Pictures of the boys, Chillie included on a hike we took last week to Shevlin Park. Cole loves to walk in the water and Spencer wanted to eat handfuls of dirt but we decided we didn't feel like pulling it out of his mouth.

Arrival in California

2006-06-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you all know that we arrived safely and found the house we are staying in. There is a nice backyard with a play structure, a toy room, and lots of kids movies. Cole is having a great time already. He made sure that I cleaned all of the spider webs off the play structure before he would climb aboard. Spencer even sat in the swing for a bit. The house is great, lots of space but also a great opportunity for our family to have a "safe haven" while we are down here. Jason will talk to the surgeon tomorrow afternoon and do more bloodwork and testing on Tuesday. All the family will have arrived by Tuesday. The kids are resting peacefully tonight so we look forward to spending some time together over the next few days.
Talk to you all soon.
Bre

Family Photo from August 2005

2006-06-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

One Week Away

2006-06-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

Well, We are one week away from travelling to Stanford. I think we are all getting to a point now that we just want the surgery to be over and on to the recovery phase. I know this week will go by fast and we have a lot to do to get ready to travel with the kids. Spencer has just started crawling in the last two weeks and is pulling himself up onto everything. We are hoping the airplane ride to San Francisco keeps him entertained. We will just have to bring a lot of different snacks and hope that Cole can help entertain him.
We are planning to get out and do a few activities with Cole this week before Jason isn't able to do as much with him. We went on a hike yesterday, will go bowling, possibly canoeing, and riding bikes this week to keep us busy. Jason and I will try to get out golfing at least one more time before we leave.
Feel free to scroll down the page to look at the changes I've made this week. I've added a tagboard where you can type your name into the top box and start typing a message into the next box. We are hoping that people will use that to leave messages, words of encouragement, and general comments. We have also added some links where you can email each of us directly.
Have a great week and we will keep you posted.

Here we are again

2006-05-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are again
Originally uploaded by montoyabre.

A Photo from Christmas time with Bre and the boys.

Cole's Friend Bobby

2006-05-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

If you've met Cole, then you've probably met Bobby. Bobby is 5 years old, has white hair on the top and yellow in the back, his dad drives a garbage truck, and Bobby brings a friend to our house sometimes when he visits. His friend is 3, her name is Abuleigh, she has yellow hair. Oh, did I mention that Bobby is also about 3 1/2 inches tall. Yes, Cole and Bobby are great friends. They even have arguments and get the other one in trouble.
One day I walked by Cole's room and I overheard him saying, "Is not, Is too, Is not, Is too, Is not, Is too." Now this went on for some time when I casually asked Cole who he was arguing with. "Bobby! And he won't listen." Well, we had to send Bobby home for awhile so the "boys" could have some time apart since they couldn't get along.
Then there was the time that I heard water hitting the back of the bathroom door. "Bobby did that too." Yep, that Bobby sure can be naughty sometimes.
Most of the time though, you wouldn't even know Bobby was here. Until of course, you ask Cole what he's doing and he replies, "Playing". "Oh, Okay, but who are you talking to?" "Bobby". Of course, why did I even bother to ask. Of course there was the day that Bobby brought a friend to play.
What a life we live with this character. Cole and Bobby and of course Bobby's friend Abuleigh.
Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that the teddy bear, the stick horse, and the little person that fits in the fire truck are all named Bobby too. Cole informed me the other day, we needed to have another baby and name him Bobby.
Some days I wonder, "when will Bobby and Abuleigh not come to play anymore?" For now, I will indulge Cole in his world of make believe and look back on these days with a smile for many years to come.

2006-05-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

We are getting ready to take a new step in this adventure called life. In two weeks from today, May 28, 2006, our family will travel to Palo Alto, CA for Jason to undergo his heart surgery. The surgery will take place on June 14th, early in the morning, and last 6-8 hours. We will stay down there for the better part of two weeks and are planning to come home June 26th. Cole and Spencer will join us so that we can all be together as a family. Once Jason is out of surgery and we know that everything is going great on his road to recovery Cole will go home with my parents to return to Bend, OR. Spencer will stay with us since he is just 10 months old and his mommy can't be away from him for that long. Jason's family, including all brother's, sister, and in-laws will be joining us as well as both of our parents.
There is definitely a lot of anxious anticipation for the actual surgery to take place. We are all coping the best we can, letting go of fear and worry as it comes along, trying to spend as much together as a family as we can, and making sure we don't take any of our moments together for granted. We know that God has us in His hands and that He is the one holding us together right now. Some days there are more moments of feeling scared and wondering what would happen if something went wrong. Then there are moments of hope and anticipation of what is to come in the months and years to come.
We will be posting updated information on this site as we get nearer to the surgery date and forward. We are trying to keep one main spot for those interested to get information from without having to go through a login process. Please bear with us as we are figuring out how to make the best use of our webspot.

The Boys of Winter

2006-05-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

A New Tradition

2005-09-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a friend's Blog for a month or so now and decided I would like to have one for our family. The concept of building a website about our family to share with friends and family to stay more connected is enticing. So we will attempt to do better at keeping everyone connected to our lives here in Bend, Oregon.
Spencer Adam Montoya was born on 7/30/05. He is now 6 weeks old tomorrow. Cole is 2 1/2 and growing quickly. He continually keeps us smiling with his antics and the funny things he says. We are all transitioning into having a new baby in the house again. Spencer is already 13 lbs and his personality is beginning to shine. First smiles are beginning to happen more often during the day and lots of time spent checking out his world. If only we could now what he thinks. Chillie dog is doing fine, tolerating Cole dragging him around the house by his collar and trying to get him to play by his rules. Often times Chillie just sits down and refuses to move.
Jason is finishing up the season rafting and will begin soon on the completion of his thesis before the snow flies. I hear it is forecast for a "harsh" winter. If harsh winter means snow, then Jason will be busy up on Mt. Bachelor, working on his skis. I will return to work after the holidays and Jason will resume his job as stay at home dad 4 days a week with Cole and Spencer.
Well I guess this is enough for our first post. i will have to practice my writing skills and keep this updated so that everyone can get a glimpse of our lives here in Bend.